Hellsing: The amusement park
by Tina senpai
Summary: The Hellsing group have fun at the amusement park! Some Oocness and everyone together ; Look out for pairings x
1. Chapter 1

Hellsing: Amusement park C1

~Chapter 1: The Amusing amusement park!~

"Ieeeee! It's so big!" Rip let out a squeal and ran straight inside, twirling around quickly and looking up at all the rides, taking in the hustle and bustle of the amusement park.

"Huh, I bet she's said that before." Heinkel sniggered and leaned in towards Pip and Zurin's directions, knowing they'd nod and chuckle along with her, before she got scolded by Yumiko for being dirty.

They had decided, after much deliberation, that the most successful way for them ALL (that included the boys) to spend time together, would be to go to somewhere that they could all enjoy and that didn't involve people dying (much).

Father Anderson had been reading about the park arriving in the local newspaper and brought it up during one of the many joint lunches together and it was decided, they should all go and check it out and have as much fun as they could.

"Ok! Right! We have tickets and now, we just have to decide who goes where and what ride is first!" Seras said loudly, standing beside Rip and holding up a bagful of newly purchased tickets for each ride. They had an endless amount, so if anyone wanted to play games, go on rides or buy food, they made sure they got PLENTY.

"Oooo! OOOOH! I WANNA GO ON THAT!" Schrodinger made to dash off towards the biggest and longest looking rollercoaster, but had the back of his shirt quickly grabbed by Hans.

"Good catch boy," Jan snickered and leant over to face Schrodinger, "listen pipsqueak, a little guy like YOU doesn't decided where to go first. It's left to the men like us."

"Oh? Men like you, Jan? You mean," Zurin cut in and leant forward, putting her arm around Jan's back and pulling him in close to her, "big, strong and decisive?" She purposeful leant her mouth towards his ear and breathed warmly on it.

Everyone couldn't help but laugh, chuckle and giggle as Jan let out an audible squeak and fled to the nearest toilets, his tail inbetween his legs.

"Well, after THAT little outburst," Yumiko turned around and faced her friends, "how about we go around the theme park clockwise, taking each stall and ride as we go, and when we reach the end, we split off to where ever our favourites may be, and meet up when it's the end?"

Everyone nodded and agreed at Yumiko's sensible decision, with Jan creeping back in and hiding behind Hans, complaining that no one listened to him, hoping that Zurin couldn't actually hear him.

Alas, she did, she just planned to molest him later.

"Oh! Well, the first one seems to be the mirror maze!" Luke strolled to the front and stood infront of the quite large and visible panels before him.

It wasn't really a mirror maze, more of a 'clear glass' maze, which had smoke flowing through it, obviously to disrupt the 'questor's' escape.

"Ok, whose first in?" Doc said, looking over at everyone and doing a quiet headcount.

"I'll go! I'm really good at the games with the little girls back at the orphanage!" Yumie said, having put Yumiko away, who was really NO good at quizzes at puzzles (truth be told, Yumie wasn't any better, just didn't want to admit it).

Yumie tied up her hair and prepared herself as Father Maxwell done a countdown.

"3....2....1....GO!" He said and watched as Yumie practically ran in through the door and shuffled quickly along in her dress.

It didn't take her long before she got to the center, and everyone was hopeful for her, until they saw her go back and forth repeatedly, retracing her steps and then turning to them with a very agitated face.

"I CAN'T FIND MY WAY OUT!" Yumie's face streamed with overdramatic tears and faced towards the gathered crowd.

She clearly watched Heinkel facepalm herself and mouth 'I'm not going in after her!', leaving Yumie quite saddened and pouty at her friends refusal to help.

Yumie clearly saw the dark count step forward, muttering, 'I'm coming for you', and she was almost tempted to stay inside the maze a little longer.

After a few minutes, Alucard had walked steadily through the maze, got hold of Yumie and bought the teary nun outside to the awaiting gang.

"Well done Count, record time!" Integra lit up another cigar and smirked at her servant.

"Urgsch, I'm putting you on a piece of cord nun!" Heinkel said, grabbing Yumie by the wrist and using her free hand to fish out a hankie and dry off the nun's tears.

"Huh! Wuss!," Jan said and marched to the front of the door, " I'll show you how an expert does it!"

"Hurry up Jan, because if you don't make it out in the time before Alucard done it, I'm coming in after you and will do whatever I like to you." Zurin smirked and puffed out her fag.

Everyone watched Jan's face drop in horror, before he quickly darted in.

Soon, they all laughed at him running back and forth, smacking and bashing into walls, before he finally ran straight into one headfirst and knocked himself out.

"...I'll go get him." Luke said, sighing and strolling in, venturing after his now unconscious brother.


	2. Chapter 2

Hellsing: Amusement park C2

~Chapter 2: The haunted mansion~

After everyone had had their go in the maze (all the other girls following behind Hans who was sniffing his way out) they walked around a bit more, coming to the next ride.

"Ze haunted house. Looks crap." Pip looked up at the dimly lit building and and spat out the gum he'd been eating.

"You think everything looks crap. Don't get snippy, just because we've told you all to stop smoking around us." Walter chimed in, slapping Pip for not being a gentleman and picking up the gum with a piece of tissue and disposing it in a small container to bin at the appropriate time.

After the little adventure, everyone had agreed (that is, everyone who wasn't a smoker agreed) that everyone (that was Pip, Integra, Heinkel, Zurin and Jan) should not smoke until they finished the fair. If anyone disagreed, an elected individual (Alucard) was going to take them someone to have a serious word with them (...a rather unpleasant word which consisted pmostly of scaring the living daylights out of them), because Yumie, Seras and Rip couldn't stand the smoke going around them.

"Right! Everyone hold hands and make sure you stay close together!" Maxwell said and instantly grabbed the hand of Integra, who simply sighed and grabbed the hand of Anderson before Major could slip his fingers inbetween hers.

With Maxwell leading the way, he was followed by Integra, Anderson, Seras, Pip, Walter, Schrodinger, Doc, Luke, Rip, Hans, Heinkel, Zurin, Jan, Major, Yumie and finally Alucard (who kept promising he wasn't going to jump out and scare Yumie), and soon, everyone was in the darkened building, decorated with fake spider webs and eyeballs plastered to the wall.

"Zee? Told you it vas crap." Pip said amongst the huddled group, wondering if anyone was paying attention to what they might be standing in.

"Oh really? Because Mr. bernadotte, you seem to be squeezing my hand awfully hard." Seras giggled and clearly heard him mutter some swear word under his breath.

"This is so F**king lame! I mean, there aren't ev-AHHHHHHHHHH! Zur-ZURIN! GET YOUR HANDS OFF THERE!" Jan's voice went up an octave and everyone in line felt him fighting off whatever was attacking him in the darkness.

"Oh, it's not me Jan! I zwear! It must be ze ghosts! Now shut up and hold still!" Zurin's voice rang out and the sound of flies unzipping and Jan's muffled protests could be heard.

'Ah,' Luke thought sneakily to himself, 'oppurtunity!'

"Oh my God!" Luke suddenly boomed, "What is that?!"

And sure enough, a second later, Rip fell against him, clutching at his coat.

"Vat?! VAT IS IT?! HANS! KILL IT, KILL IT!" Rip squealed over and over again. What she hadn't realised was she had aimed to fall against Hans for protection. Of course, Luke didn't know this either, and just wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her shoulders lovingly.

Hans' glare could practically illuminate the darkness, whilst Heinkel clung onto him desperately, trying not to show her fear too much.

"Ieeee! Someone's got their hands on me!" Yumie's voice squealed out in the dark and a dark chuckle followed her outburst.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they don't mean you any harm sister." Alucard's distinctive voice could be heard.

"Alucard! Unhand Sister Yumie this second!" Anderson began fighting his way through, trying to drag Seras and Integra who seemed to still have their grip on him.

"Why? I don't hear her complaining. She was merely saying outloud what her body has." The count chuckled back, not stopping his minstrations on the little nun.

Soon, everyone became crushed against each other, many trying to escape, many trying to get close and some just trying desperataly not too get molested.


	3. Chapter 3

~Hellsing: Amusement park C3~

~Rollercoaster ride~

"Well, we aren't going in THAT again." Luke said, stomping off ahead of the line away from the haunted house, sporting a black eye.

He was sure never to make the same mistake of pinching someones backside in the dark, thinking it was his sweetheart Rip Van. Luckily, Hans hadn't punched him too hard.

After him, Father Anderson had finally managed to get Seras and Integra off of him, whilst they were followed by a Maxwell, Pip and Major, all huddled together and swapping secrets about what and who they had touched in the dark.

Hans strolled out slowly whilst holding a slightly terrified Rip in his arms, whilst Schrodinger had firmly attached himself to his back, shivering and repeating, 'mutti, mutti, mutti, mutti, mutti.'

Doc and Walter waltzed out, watching amused as Zurin chased Jan out the whole way, holding a bit of shirt she had manage to rip off with her bare hands.

Heinkel stomped out, holding a very blushing Yumie by the wrist, whilst Alucard came out last with a very large and evil grin on his face.

After another five minutes of walking about, releasing tensions and secret hand holding (which Yumie slapped Heinkel and Hans' had at) the youngest member of the group spotted something of great interest.

"Ooooooh! Can we go on the rollercoaster?" Schrodinger said, pointing at the large ride whilst munching on some candy floss (which doc noted that he hadn't bought him any).

"Urgsch, count me out, I hate rollercoasters." Rip Van crinkled her nose and rubbed the tip of it, showing her visible disgust at such a ride.

"Well, that makes two of us," Maxwell said and folded his arms, "I shall stay down here with you Miss Winkle. Where it's safe!" He pronounced the last word by looking towards his fellow iscariots, all of whom choose to look away and whistle innocently.

"Coward," Major snickered before going straight into the line and offering his arm to Integra, "come fraulein, ve shall conquer this together!"

Integra just smirked wickedly and followed suite, looping her arm through the major's and allowing herself to be lead away, Father Anderson following quickly after as she grabbed the edge of his coat sneakily and pulled.

Hans and Heinkel seemed to be giggling at some private joke, as Hans' grabbed and pulled Luke by the collar, whilst the one Valentine insisted on staying and that he wasn't feeling well.

Jan was still being chased by Zurin and tried weaving and dodging his way through the line as the big, muscular bulldyke followed him.

Doc was still chatting away to Walter, particularly complaining that Schrodinger had now de-attached himself from Hans' back and opted to be carried on Doc's back to the rollercoaster.

Seras and Yumie walked hand in hand in the line, all the way making sure there skirts were pulled firmly down so as Pip and Alucard would stop flicking them up at the back.

Soon enough, everyone was firmly secure (as they could be) in there seats.

Major, Integra, Alex and Walter were strapped firmly into the first row. Hans, Heinkel, Luke and Jan were in the second row.

Doc, Shrodinger and Zurin were all in the third row (with a seat for a cuddly bear which Schrodinger had one).

And in the last row, were Pip, Seras, Yumie and Alucard.

As the ride began, everyone gave a loud 'woooooooooo!' with Schrodinger telling everyone to make sure they put their hands up as they got to the very top of the slope they were already approaching.

Integra got a clear view as the top came in sight and the spectacular view of the horizon, but most of all, she could clearly see the long way done as the just as she was dipped over the edge, the ride stopped.

She took sharp deep breaths as behind her, faint yells and squeals of excitement could be clearly heard.

'It will be ok, it's just a ride.' She repeated the small mantra in her head, shutting her eyes tightly and praying that her glasses wouldn't fall off.

Then, the ride started again.

Integra couldn't help it.

She shut her eyes and screamed as loud as she could as she was plummeted down to earth, the wind rushing past her face as weightlessness gave way and she thought she was going to pass out.

"!"

Alex and Major either side of her looked at her in shock, surpised she could actually scream that loud.

Well, she couldn't help it, she was terrified! And besides, Jan was screaming much louder than she was, only being overtaken by the sound of Zurin's loud laughter (both of delight at the ride and at Jan's terrified girlish screams).

Just as they came to the last big loop, slowly down again to increase tension, Alucard was the only one not smiling. He had turned to his right to see what the nun was doing and didn't like what he saw. Yumie was clutching firmly at the hand braces by her sides, hair covering her face so he could only just see her eyes tightly shut and tears rolling down her cheeks.

If they weren't on a rollercoaster, he would have ravaged her right then and there.

Again, just at the top of the slope, the ride stilled and for that second he took action.

"Yumie, open your eyes." A voice whispered in her ears and she reluctantly opened her watery lids, gazing to her left where the voice came from.

Alucard sat there beside her, a tender smile on his face and his hand outstretched. Just as a small click was heard, signalling the ride was starting again, Alucard seized one of her hands and gripped it tightly, holding it aloft with his.

"Put your hands in the air!" Schrodinger's voice was heard and everyone (yes, even Walter) obediently obeyed and threw their hands in the air as yet again they plummeted back down to earth.

A few more bumps and grinds and Hans losing his hat and the ride was finally finished.

They all managed to stumble off the rollercoaster, all looking slightly worse for wear, and somehow (whilst clinging onto one another) found their way back to Rip Van and Maxwell.

"So, how was it?" Maxwell asked smugly, noting how everyone looked like they'd just stumbled out of a horror movie.

"It was FANTASTIC!"

Well, all except Schrodinger and Alucard, who high fived each other.

"Can we do that again?" Schrodinger said and was met with hisses and groans of disaproval.

"I think...I'm going...to go somewhere." Yumie managed to say and stumbled over to were Maxwell stood.

"Yumie, what are yo-YUMIE!" Maxwell yelled as the nun suddenly bent over and began to chucker up whatever it was she had consumed that day.

Onto his shoes.


	4. Chapter 4

Hellsing: Amusement park

C4

~Tunnel of love~

The group of vampires, werewolves, nazis, catholics and busty females walked around slowly, picking out the stalls and rides they had already been on and collecting prizes they won.

Integra had actually won on a air rifle target game and had given her large, fluffy and abnormally cute teddy bears to Maxwell and Major. Seras was holding hands happily with Pip, sucking seductively on the blood pack he had brought for her and disguised as a normal flask of 'cherryade'. Alucard had been bundled with Yumie, currently giving her a piggy back and letting her have a small nap after she threw up on Maxwell' shoes. Heinkel and Rip walked arm in arm, not noticing as Luke and Hans seemed to have a small mental battle behind them, Luke occasionally walking into poles were he wasn't paying attention. Zurin seemed to have finally calmed (and seduced) Jan, whom she had lovingly placed her arm around and had brought him a small pink Kangaroo which she had won at a stall (I say won, but she actually missed the target and ended up beating the person behind to near unconsciousness, before stealing the Kangaroo). Walter and Doc took up the back, having a pleasant chat, whilst Doc complimented Walter on the splendid idea of purchasing a leesh for Schrodinger (who didn't complain, he had ice cream).

"Ok, Park closes in an hour, we've been on all rides," Pip turned to everyone as they stopped for a second, "EXCEPT the last one." Pip turned slowly and pointed in the direction of the last ride before they would come full circle. There was a unison of gasps and groans (and blushes around) as everyone spotted a large 'house' entitled 'The tunnel of luuuuuuuuuurve!'

Somehow, amongst the groans, there was no argument. Just small fights as places were picked.

As everyone got in line, everyone else would watch the small interaction between people.

In the tunnel...

Rip and Heinkel were squished straight into the middle of Luke and Hans, who both seemed to be having a small hand slapping game behind the girls backs as each man had a 'no touching' rule on the girls.

Doc was still having a pleasant conversation with Walter, Schrodinger refusing to be left alone and having a small nap on both their knees, curled up much like his cat half.

Integra had practically thrown Father Anderson into the small 'boat', making sure that Major and Maxwell (who were currently brawling it out over who would sit in the boat with her) couldn't get in (what with 'who ate all the pies' not getting that fat tosh of his in), leaving those two still fighting as they got in behind and practically locked eyes on the front boat at all times, with Maxwell occasionally whispering, 'he brushed against her arm!' or Major girlishly sqeauling as Integra flicked her long blonde hair.

Seras and Pip were currently sitting happily next to each other, just enjoying the company of one another. Seras was sat happily against Pip, her body leant into his and one hand clutching the front of his top, as his arm curled itself protectively around her in a gentle hug.

Now, everyone was surprised that Jan had actually started to co-operate with Zurin'. They were slightly more surprised, when during the tunnel, they could clearly hear certain moans and phrases.

"Ah...Ah...AH! AH GOD! MORE! ZURIN!!" Jan's voice echoed throughout the tunnel.

"Oh...you like that? Then you'll love this!" Zurin's voice replied, quickly followed by a sharp, snapping sound and Jan's whine of pleasure (or pain). Needless to say, everyone shuddered and retched slightly.

On the last little boat, Alucard was seated with Yumie. He had refused to put her down to someone else (making the excuse that she may be sick again) and had wrapped her up tenderly in his coat. Needless to say, even before they reached the end, Father Anderson and Heinkel were trying to clamber out of their boats as they could clearly here Yumie's moans and gasps in the darkened tunnel.

By the time everyone got out, they were either snogging each others faces off, brawling, holding hands, still making out in the carriage (in which everyone shouted at them to stop) or were made fun of (particularly when Doc actually helped Walter out of the carriage by offering his hand).

As the last boat came up and Alucard and Yumie stepped out, everyone turned and gasped.

During the last bit of the tunnel, the amusement park owners had obviously though it was romantic to let a rain of glitter come down over the couples.

"Is that....Master?!" Seras looked on, having already shaken off the glitter.

Alucard seemed to have gotten the worst dunking as everybody else didn't seem to shimmer as much under the sunlight.

"Hah! Sparkling vampire!" Major pointed and snickered, covering his mouth and giggling like a naughty schoolgirl. Integra couldn't help but be a little put off and disturbed by it.

"Wha-...Oh my...GET IT OFF!" Alucard growled as he looked down at his own body, finding a large amount of glitter and sparkles on him. He thrashed about, wiping at his arms as he desperately attempted to rid himself of (what Schrodinger called) 'Sparkwiness!'

Soon enough (after Alucard had ordered the ride owners to hose him down and then promptly beat them to a negotiable pulp) it was time to go.

Everyone was thoroughly exhausted as they exited the gates and got to the groups hired bus, piling on and promptly sitting next to their chosen 'buddies' for the day, some immediately falling happily asleep.

"Ok, so eve-...who are we missing?" Walter stood up at the front and began a head count, hoping he hadn't gone TO senile.

"Urm," Heinkel looked about abit, careful not to stir Rip, "Alucard, Yumie, Zurin and Jan."

Walter merely sighed.

"God knows where they are OR what they are doing."

In the haunted house...

Exactly what were Jan and Zurin doing? Well, if the group knew that Jan was currently running naked (minus his boxer shorts with hearts on them) through the haunted house whilst (a similiary dressed) Zurin


End file.
